Home. It's that place where your heart is, or that bunk bed you're too tall to sleep in now so it's probably a good job you moved out anyway.

I just want to start this by saying that I don't think that anyone should have to hide who they are, but 'should' is one of those bullshit words, you've got to wait until you feel safe. The world isn't perfect, and shit happens. Also I do not in anyway wish to diminish the absolute terror that comes with coming out as anything other than heterosexual (I'm probably going to say 'gay' or 'queer' for the rest of this post, listing all the sexualities or saying 'other than heterosexual' is a bit of a mouthful). And I'm not saying one is scarier than the other, definitely not, I'm just seeking a bit more empathy for my life, empathy, it's a thing guys.

Anyway, disclaimers aside, it must be shit fucking scary coming out as trans, because like, with being gay, you can tell all your mates and fuck girls every which way from Sunday, then go home and tell your Mam you're straight and she never has to know until you're ready to tell her. But with being trans if you want to be living your life you've kinda got to tell your parents if you ever want to see them again (obviously for some people that aren't so lucky they tell their folks and never see them again anyway), either that or risk major emotional trauma by pretending to be someone you're not...and even as I wrote that I could hear myself saying 'well yeah, that's kind of what hiding being gay is like too, idiot' but what I'm getting at is like, if you're trans and you decide that surgery is what is best for you, and that hormones are what's going to make you happy that is going to be so difficult, in fact I'm going to say impossible to hide. Like even if I got on the phone to my Mother after a few months on T she is going to notice that something is different, and I recently got an undercut shaved into the back of my head, and if facial hair grows back at the same speed, I'd have a 5 o'clock shadow by breakfast. Like being gay, trans comes with its own set of tough choices, must be why the universe only lets the coolest people be that way. Don't let people push you, come out when YOU feel like you are ready, and when you are safe, you do you.


Hey if you want to educate yourself, or find out more it's super easy, everything's on the internet nowadays:

http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Transhealth/Pages/Transmentalhealth.aspx

http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Transhealth/Pages/Transcomingout.aspx

http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/LGBhealth/Pages/Comingout.aspx

http://lgbt.foundation/information-advice/coming-out-support/

http://www.tht.org.uk/sexual-health/Sex,-reproduction-and-gender/Trans-women/Trans-stories

http://www.tht.org.uk/sexual-health/Sex,-reproduction-and-gender/Trans-men/Trans-stories

http://www.tht.org.uk/sexual-health/Sex,-reproduction-and-gender/Trans-men/What-is-trans_qm_

Casual racism and why I'd rather be gay than black. (It sounds worse than it is)

I love calling out racists (especially on Facebook, where everyone can see and they can't get out of it or pretend they didn't say it because it's there in black and white for us all to witness), because a lot of them would cringe if you called them that, because that's not how they see themselves, because that's how easy our society and culture has made it to be casually racist, remarks roll off the tongue and are all over Facebook. Most people would say 'I'm not a racist' or even 'I have black friends', but guess what assuming you are better than someone because you are a colour they aren't, or making assumptions about people based on skin colour is fucking racist. In the same way as saying something is 'so gay' is still a homophobic statement even if you 'love the gays'. Another quick comparison between homophobia and racism, and it starts bad so let me get to the end before anyone goes off on one. I, Abby Jane Pearson, being a young woman living in the UK, would rather be gay than black, and I'll tell you for why right now, because, being gay and black are similar in the sense that, there's nothing wrong with either,neither can, nor should be, helped, they're just facts of life, people are just born that way and it's our differences that make us beautiful and they should be celebrated, but you'll always get some bigot fucking it up for the rest of us, and here comes the reasoning behind why I'd rather be gay than black, as a gay women I can chose when and where, and to whom I come out, when I feel safe and comfortable, sure as shit nobody in the entire world has to come out as black. I've got this friend, she's both black and beautiful, and people think it's okay to shout 'nigger' at her in the street. If a racist approaches her in the street, she cannot deny the beautiful chocolatey tone of her skin, she cannot CHOOSE to be safe. And that my friends, is why I'd rather be gay than black.