Listen up folks, I'm going to admit to being wrong and it doesn't happen very often.

Source

Last night I published a post entitled 'The Danish Cis-man, and how I won't be boycotting', and I shared it around my various social media platforms and obviously some of my friends got to read it.

One of my friends, Sam, he read it and was kind enough to get back to me, and he told me how and why he agreed and disagreed. Before we go any further I feel I should point out that Sam is a secret agent...I'm kidding he's not, but he totally is a trans man. I also feel it's important to point out that Sam doesn't speak for all trans people, he has a trans opinion, not the trans opinion, just like I have a cis opinion, but I do not speak for all cis people, just like I don't speak for all people with glasses, or all people with brown eyes. He gave me permission to publish the message he sent me online but he asked me to point out that he's 'a trans guy, and the people who are mostly affected by this film are trans AMAB people, and perhaps more specifically trans women so even though [he's] trans, [he's] still a guy commenting on something to do with the representation of woman, they're just more specifically trans women'. He's a nice guy like that.
I thought that Sam had many good points and was so well informed on the subject I thought it would be cool to share his opinion with the world (and by 'the world' I mean the four people that read this blog), and so here is the message that Sam sent:

'Cool I disagree just in the fact that there are a lot of trans actors who have said that they're happy to play both pre and post transition trans people. Laverne Cox herself said that she would play the pre transition parts even before the idea of her twin brother playing them was brought up. Trans people have played pre and post transition in films in the past, it can work. Also it ignores the possibility of non-binary AMAB people as actors - imagine an AMAB person who is fluid between being a man and a woman, that'd be perfect! It's also the fact that trans people weren't even considered for these roles. Redmayne was cast because the director saw a 'duality' in him. That's it. And the director for About Ray stated that she didn't want a trans man playing the part.

Also, and this was a point raised by a trans woman that I read, it's incredibly dangerous to reinforce society's ideas that trans women are men by getting a man to play them. It's also super shitty because you have a cis person telling a trans persons' story, and a man telling a woman's story. There's no representation in there at all. It's also got hardly any truth in it, too, from what I've seen and read about it, they've changed tons of the story and it's very much a cis person's view of trans women.

I'm a firm believer in don't do it unless you can do it right. Miseducation is very dangerous to trans people, so I'd rather wait for something that was right rather than what can be achieved the quickest.

But at the end of the day that's just my opinion and I'm sure there'll be others who think differently' At which point I asked what 'AMAB' meant, for those that don't know it's 'Assigned Male at Birth'. 'Just on a side note, another reason people might not see those films, especially trans people, is that it'll be painful to watch them get things so wrong. It's a point I've just thought of: those films aren't made for trans people, they're made for the consumption of cis who enjoy the 'sensationalism' of trans people. They're not their to educate, they're there to entertain, and as much I would support a boycott, I first and foremost won't be seeing them because they'll upset me on a personal level.'

And you've got to admit, he's go a point hasn't he?

The Danish Cis-man, and how I won't be boycotting.

Please someone do tell me if I’m accidentally being an arsehole, or am indeed just wrong because it happens quite often. And I also want to make it very clear before you ready the rest, that I in no way mean to diminish the pain of trans people, this is not a 'get over it', they have every right to be angry as fuck; it's more like a 'next steps and let's all look to the future together', so if you've come here with a bigoted view point expecting me to agree you can fuck off right now.

Now I’ve only seen the trailer, and I’m cis-gender, thus by extension I have no idea how it feels to be trans and so could just be talking utter bollocks. But is it just me that thinks the reason that a cis-man, or more specifically Eddie Redmayne, was chosen to play Lili Elbe is that she presents as a man for a large portion of the movie, and that might be a bit distressing for a trans-woman to play? Like it’s not like that movie with Elle Fanning in, About Ray, where Ray presents as a man for the entire movie, so therefore should have been played by a trans-man (once again I’ve only seen the trailer, I could be wrong, please do tell me), or even Orange is the New Black where Laverne Cox has a twin brother who is able to play pre-transition Sophia. 











Like a trans actor should have played Ray in lieu of Elle Fanning, most definitely, but I feel like a trans-woman, with an identical twin brother, both of whom chose acting as their profession, both of whom are good enough actors to do this story justice are just too rare a find. I think it’s just one of those things that’s just a bloody shame, and although we’ve got a long way to go in our battle for trans representation, this is one of the ones we’ve just got to accept as a loss.

I feel like the only thing that boycotting this film would do is tell the powers that be over in Hollywood is that not even trans people and allies are going to see films about trans people, and the film industry is all about making money. It’s all about baby steps, we can’t expect positive representation right away, film-makers are starting to wake up to something we’ve known all along, that trans people matter, they are regular people with regular jobs, and regular stories for regular films, and they’re trying but come on Rome wasn’t built in a day, and when was the last time you got something right first try? Queer representation in mainstream cinema still isn't perfect, not even close, but like it started will gay characters being the villain or the butt of every joke, so I think we all need to think about how far we have come, and remember, we're not at the end of the trans representation in mainstream cinema journey, we're still getting there, but I won't be boycotting The Danish Girl or About Ray, because although I think they're far from perfect I also think that if no one goes to see these films then films like this will stop being picked up for the big screen, and instead of making progress in trans representation, we'll take a big step backwards. In a perfect world we'd take one giant step forward, but the world isn't perfect so I'd rather take lots of little steps forward than a big step back.

So by all means please do keep voicing your concerns about the Danish Girl and About Ray, but don't boycott them.

Home. It's that place where your heart is, or that bunk bed you're too tall to sleep in now so it's probably a good job you moved out anyway.

I just want to start this by saying that I don't think that anyone should have to hide who they are, but 'should' is one of those bullshit words, you've got to wait until you feel safe. The world isn't perfect, and shit happens. Also I do not in anyway wish to diminish the absolute terror that comes with coming out as anything other than heterosexual (I'm probably going to say 'gay' or 'queer' for the rest of this post, listing all the sexualities or saying 'other than heterosexual' is a bit of a mouthful). And I'm not saying one is scarier than the other, definitely not, I'm just seeking a bit more empathy for my life, empathy, it's a thing guys.

Anyway, disclaimers aside, it must be shit fucking scary coming out as trans, because like, with being gay, you can tell all your mates and fuck girls every which way from Sunday, then go home and tell your Mam you're straight and she never has to know until you're ready to tell her. But with being trans if you want to be living your life you've kinda got to tell your parents if you ever want to see them again (obviously for some people that aren't so lucky they tell their folks and never see them again anyway), either that or risk major emotional trauma by pretending to be someone you're not...and even as I wrote that I could hear myself saying 'well yeah, that's kind of what hiding being gay is like too, idiot' but what I'm getting at is like, if you're trans and you decide that surgery is what is best for you, and that hormones are what's going to make you happy that is going to be so difficult, in fact I'm going to say impossible to hide. Like even if I got on the phone to my Mother after a few months on T she is going to notice that something is different, and I recently got an undercut shaved into the back of my head, and if facial hair grows back at the same speed, I'd have a 5 o'clock shadow by breakfast. Like being gay, trans comes with its own set of tough choices, must be why the universe only lets the coolest people be that way. Don't let people push you, come out when YOU feel like you are ready, and when you are safe, you do you.


Hey if you want to educate yourself, or find out more it's super easy, everything's on the internet nowadays:

http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Transhealth/Pages/Transmentalhealth.aspx

http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Transhealth/Pages/Transcomingout.aspx

http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/LGBhealth/Pages/Comingout.aspx

http://lgbt.foundation/information-advice/coming-out-support/

http://www.tht.org.uk/sexual-health/Sex,-reproduction-and-gender/Trans-women/Trans-stories

http://www.tht.org.uk/sexual-health/Sex,-reproduction-and-gender/Trans-men/Trans-stories

http://www.tht.org.uk/sexual-health/Sex,-reproduction-and-gender/Trans-men/What-is-trans_qm_